Welcome to Hell!
by KissMeDeadlyT-T
Summary: All hail the not-so-creative title! ; Deidara is forced to give up his room to Kisame, and share with Itachi. He's sure it's going to suck, but he can't deny these feelings brewing inside of him... and what's Kisame planning? ItaDei, yaoi, lemon later.
1. Chapter 1

**KissMeDeadlyT-T: I don't even know where I come up with these ideas ._. It's just something that popped into my head while I was waiting for a certain someone to PM me so we can get started on the side-stories to my fic recently finished NaruSasuNaru fic thingie :3**

**-I just wanna mention that I couldn't choose which of Deidara's little sound thingies to use, so I just used all three ^^' That's how I roll O.o Also, I'm no good with the suffixes, you know, like –san and –sama. So I just didn't use them! Yeah fanfiction! You rock for letting me do whatever the fuck I want with these characters 8D**

**-I don't own Naruto! *sighs sadly***

**-Edit: I reread it and corrected writing errors on every chapter on March 21 2012, hopefully I didn't miss anything...**

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**Intro**

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"Deidara-senpai!" a way-too-happy for this early in the day, overly-exuberant voice sang loudly, its owner skipping hyperactively down the barren hallway of the Akatsuki base and throwing open the door to Deidara's room, which happened to be the last one in the hall. The masked man looked around for a few moments, trying to locate the bomber in his messy room. In the corner, a digital clock flashed 7:19 AM in bright red numbers over and over, and being Tobi, it distracted him. He shook himself out of it and resumed his previous scanning of the room. The first few rays of sunlight that managed to get past the thick trees outside streamed in through the thick black curtains. Tobi examined the bed closely; sometimes Deidara liked to curl up right in the middle and bury himself in blankets, despite the abnormally hot temperature at which he always kept his room. However, this morning that wasn't the case. "Senpai?" he called out again.

"The fuck do you want, Tobi? I'm busy, un!" Deidara's voice, muffled and irritated, came from behind the closet door. Tobi stared at it for a moment. He couldn't fathom why Deidara would be in there. He was about to walk over, through the mess of clothes and whatnot on the floor—Deidara was really quite an unorganized person—when he heard a sinister, pleased laugh come from the very closet he was headed to.

"Senpai?" he asked in alarm, his eyes widening behind his orange mask. Last time he'd heard that laugh, the kitchen blew up. "What are you—?"

"One sec, idiot, I said I was busy! Hmm!" Deidara snapped, however his voice was excited. "I'm so close to getting this right—" And then suddenly, Tobi heard an ear-shattering BOOM, and the closet doors flew open. Coughing, a barefoot Deidara ran out, followed quickly by a large puff of black smoke and the strong scent of burning.

"...Senpai?" Tobi asked once more, his mouth failing to stay closed. Thank goodness he had a mask on to cover the expression of pure amusement and shock on his face, lest Deidara beat him up for looking like an idiot or something. Deidara's sapphire eyes looked up at him as the shorter man coughed once again.

"What do you want?" he demanded as though he wasn't standing there in his pyjamas—which consisted of boxers and a tight black muscle shirt, wiping soot off of his tanned face with mouthed hands, slightly singed blond hair falling loosely down his back to stop just above the curve of his butt. His stitched arms were nearly black with soot and smoke continued to pour from the closet. Tobi stared for a moment, not knowing what to say.

"Uhhmm... er, oh yeah!" he exclaimed. "Leader wants to see you, and he said to make it quick, senpai!"

Deidara narrowed his slanted eyes. "No, I'm busy." There was a mischievous look about him, and it sort of worried Tobi. He grabbed a shirt off of the floor, what he assumed was a dirty one, and handed it to Deidara. The blond murmured a thanks and wiped the soot off of his arms and face, before throwing the shirt into a basket in the corner. "I don't want to go right now, un," he concluded, crossing his arms.

The chocolate haired man tittered. "He sounded urgent..." When Deidara glared icily, he squawked and exclaimed, "Tobi is just passing on the message! Tobi is a good boy!"

The blond sighed. "Fine, then. I guess I've worked on it enough for now. Hmm." He grabbed his coat from a hook on the back of his door, sliding it over what he was wearing at the moment. He didn't bother putting his scratched hitae-ite on, and simply pulled his long hair into a ponytail at the nape of his neck, in a style somewhat reminiscent of Itachi's—Not that Tobi would mention that, he valued his life too much. The artist was smiling widely the whole time. It worried Tobi. A lot.

"Worked on what, senpai?" Tobi asked meekly. Deidara was in _that_ mood; the one he got whenever he had some sort of 'genius' plan, or when he planned to do something rash. Either one usually ended up with things exploding. Tobi really didn't want to provoke him when he was like this, since as mentioned before, he liked living, thank you.

"Hmm? Oh, just this." Deidara turned to him. He held out one of his hands, and the mouth there grinned jeeringly at Tobi; the masked man looked at it with a certain amount of curiosity and bemusement. Moments later, it opened, and out popped a tiny little clay butterfly, no bigger than Deidara's black-painted pinky finger nail. It just sat there on Deidara's palm, fluttering tiny, little, intricately-designed wings every once in a while.

"So..." Tobi said. "What is it, senpai?"

Deidara frowned in annoyance, but for once he didn't punch, strangle, kick or blow up Tobi, in a strangely good mood. "It's my art. Obviously, hmm. See that?" he jerked his head towards the closet, which was still smoking, waiting for Tobi to nod before continuing, "Well, this little, tiny, beautiful thing," he cooed, and Tobi swore it was the weirdest thing he'd ever seen, "created that huge explosion. Isn't it beautiful?" he asked, his voice full of admiration and love.

Tobi didn't want to make Deidara change into a bad mood, so he quickly nodded, biting his lip behind his lollipop swirl of a mask. "Oh, yes, senpai!" Out of curiosity, he put aside the leader's request for a moment and asked, "What are you going to do with it, senpai? You seem very excited! Tobi wants to know!"

"It has to do with that Uchiha bastard." Deidara smiled happily. It was chilling. "I'm going to make him appreciate the beauty of my art, un." The clay butterfly sunk back into his palm mouth, and Deidara watched it go almost sadly. Tobi was a little weirded out, but he had to admit that the blond's passion for what he did- for his art- was amazing.

"Why do you care so much what Itachi-san thinks of your art, senpai?" Tobi asked before he could stop himself. _Oh, crap. I'm in for it now._

Deidara's face turned multiple different shades of red, and for a moment, he just stared at Tobi with wide blue eyes. Then he growled, and thwacked Tobi a good one across the back of his head. Tobi groaned and rubbed at what he knew would soon become a huge lump as Deidara snapped, "Because he lacks respect for my art, yeah! He treats me like scum, and looks down on me with those _goddamned_ eyes of his! I'm going to _make_ him respect it, and make him show some fucking emotion for once!" He turned to storm away, but Tobi didn't miss the fierce blush that spread across his senpai's nose and cheeks, all the way up to the tips of his ears. It could have been mistaken as anger, but something told Tobi that wasn't entirely it.

He may have been known as the Akatsuki's idiot, but he wasn't completely stupid; Deidara must not hate Itachi as much as he thought he did. Or rather, he still hated him with a burning passion, but that wasn't all that he felt. Deidara was probably just too stubborn to admit it, or even to see it. Maybe it was envy? No, it seemed different. Tobi sighed, he was still standing in Deidara's room, rubbing at his head.

_Owie, what a pain_, he thought, and then he remembered. _Oh! Pein!_ He ran after Deidara, who was still storming away to who knows where. He passed a door, and then another, and yelled, "Wait, senpaaaiii—oof!" He tripped over his own foot, landing hard enough to make him see stars and go cross-eyed for a second. When he could see again, he realized there was a pair of feet by his head, toenails painted dark purple. He shot to his feet, ignored the head rush, and met a pair of cool black eyes gazing solemnly and warily up at him. Why was everyone so short around here?

"Itachi-san!" he said loudly. Too loudly, as per usual. He did a little mock-salute. "Good morning!"

"...Hello, Tobi," Itachi responded coolly. Even so early in the morning, he was already fully dressed as he usually was, with his cloak undone halfway and his arm resting in the crook there, looking like he'd been awake for quite some time. He had no lines, no bags of sleep on his face, nothing except for the natural lines under his thickly lashed eyes that went down to his cheeks. His hair was in its usual ponytail, not a single hair out of place. Tobi wondered how someone could look so dang perfect all the time. The Uchiha was looking down the hallway, his black eyes falling on Deidara, who'd stopped upon hearing Tobi trip.

"What do you want, Tobi, hmm?" Deidara demanded, completely ignoring Itachi's existence. The brunet was looking almost bored, and damn if that didn't piss Deidara the fuck off. Would it kill him to display some sort of emotion, even just once? Sheesh. He clenched his fists, his heart throbbing uncomfortably hard against his ribcage. He didn't understand why his heart and stomach always felt so funny around Itachi—he hated the man, and that was that. He couldn't think of anything to describe the weird butterflies in his stomach besides 'annoying'. He almost felt tingly, but he supposed that must be the adrenaline from the explosion he'd created earlier and how fun—insert sadistic grin here—it would be fun to... _show it_ to Itachi. Yeah, that had to be it.

Right?

_Of course._ _Duh_.

Tobi's goofy voice called him back to reality. "Oh, uh, remember, Leader wants to see you, senpai," Tobi said weakly. For some reason, the air had become thick with tension, and there seemed to be a sort of invisible crackling electricity between Itachi and Deidara. The blond seemed more irritable than usual, and even Itachi looked somewhat unsettled. Deidara's eyes narrowed and moved to Itachi for barely a second before they flicked quickly away. He scoffed and grunted.

"Yeah, yeah." He turned on his heel and started off. Tobi giggled nervously; there were waves of something dark roiling off of Itachi, he could practically see them.

"Okay, bye-bye, senpai," he called, giving a little wave.

"How interesting," Itachi said flatly, in a tone that clearly stated that he didn't in fact find any interest in the topic, "I was called to see him, as well." He looked at Tobi, and the taller man understood why Deidara was afraid of him; Itachi was scary, even though he wasn't doing anything wrong. "Do you know what this is about?"

"Ah! No, Itachi-san. Sorry."

"That's fine," Itachi walked past him dismissively, and Tobi swallowed. It hadn't ever been this tense between Deidara and Itachi before—something must have changed on one of their sides. They were snippier and snarkier to each other than usual. He didn't know what else to do, so he quietly and uncharacteristically scurried off down the opposite way of Itachi and Deidara, as quickly as he could without actually running.

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Deidara's jaw dropped, his blue eyes widening almost comically and flooding with disbelief. Itachi sat there calmly and silently next to him, but his brow was furrowed. He shifted on the couch in front of Pein's desk (yes, he had a desk- as though this was actually a civilized business, and not an organization of S-rank criminals). He wanted to protest, but there was no use. Pein's word was... well, his word was law, unless you wanted to get killed off, or hurt badly, or anything along those lines. Plus, he was Itachi, and he didn't argue unless he absolutely needed to. He stared at Pein and Konan, internally cursing them, but not wanting to start a fight.

Deidara, on the other hand, didn't seem to feel this way. He slammed his hands down so hard on the couch that Itachi felt a sort of detached pity for the mouths on them; that had to be the equivalent of a slap to the face. He felt the couch bounce as Deidara stood and kicked it in frustration. "No," he spat. "No _way_. I am _not_ giving my room to Kisame and rooming with Itachi, un! Why is this even necessary?" he shrieked. He looked at Itachi, scowled, and glared back at Pein. "If you _need_ to give my room the Kisame, move me with someone else! Please! Heck, I'll even take Tobi!"

Itachi had never heard Deidara beg before this. He felt a tiny twist of resentment in his stomach and frowned. Sure, he wasn't the most sociable or friendly guy around, but he'd never done anything to make Deidara hate him, at least from what he could remember. To be honest, the blond's anger towards him sort of pissed him off, but mostly it just intrigued him. He would have rolled his eyes, but Pein spoke.

"Deidara, you're very... ah, reckless. Konan and I discussed it, and we agreed that you might become more... calm, if you stay with Itachi. Some of his obedience and silence might rub onto you." The words "We can only hope" were a slight mutter, and Deidara's left eye twitched.

Konan spoke up. "Actually," she said, fiddling with the origami rose in her hair, "it was Kisame's idea. Originally we were going to stick you with Tobi, since you two are partners, but Kisame insisted Itachi was a better choice."

"Oh, did he now?" Itachi murmured, but was ignored. Deidara groaned.

"Is this' cause of the kitchen? I _said_ I was sorry, and it's almost done being fixed—"

"Not at all," Pein interrupted. "The kitchen is hardly a problem since we barely even use it, anyway. It's also that Kisame is a lot bigger in size than you are, and he wanted more space. You and Itachi are the youngest members, as well, so that's another reason he—and Konan and I- thought you two were the best to room together. I don't want any more arguing."

Deidara, of course, didn't listen. "That's so fucked up, yeah! Why the hell don't I get any say in this?"

"Watch your language, honestly, you're beginning to sound like Hidan," Konan said with a roll of her eyes.

"I don't give a fuck! This is not fair! Itachi and I don't get along, we never have, you _know_ that—"

"Deidara," Itachi interrupted quietly, noticing the churning irritation in Pein's slightly narrowed rinnegan eyes. He really didn't want this to start a fight. "Give it a rest," he said as he grabbed the blond's wrist and forced him to sit back down.

Deidara looked at him for a long moment, his eyes narrowed angrily, but he didn't do anything but scoff and turn away. He glowered silently as Pein said, "Thank you, Itachi, for getting him to shut up."

Itachi nodded at him, sending a glare Deidara's way that clearly said he was going to get beaten up or subjected to some serious sharingan pain if he tried anything. The blond hissed back, all three mouths sneering, but said nothing. Itachi stood up, muttered a vague parting sentence to Pein and Konan, before turning to leave the room. He heard Deidara growl something and follow him, but he didn't pause to wait for the younger ninja.

"Itachi, wait, un!"

For whatever reason, Itachi listened to him, and stopped walking. He turned his head around to look back and was met with Deidara's fierce glare as the blond approached rather quickly. He idly noticed the familiar way the blond hair was tied at a tanned neck, and before he could stop it, he raised an eyebrow, smirked, and said, "Nice hair."

Deidara looked taken aback for a minute. Then his glare returned, twice as dark, and he yanked the elastic from his hair with such ferocity that it snapped. "I pull it off better than you anyway. Hmm." His hair fell loosely around his shoulders, contrasting vividly with the black of his cloak. It was a beautiful sight, Itachi had to admit, as were the angry ice-blue eyes that were narrowed at him oh-so-scarily. He's always found Deidara's looks... interesting, to say the least, and had always been somewhat fascinated with how graceful and _pretty _the nineteen year old was. Almost like a girl, but Itachi knew he wouldn't be so fascinating if he actually had been female. Of course, Deidara was so un-ladylike in attitude, no one could ever mistake him for a girl.

The way he felt around Deidara actually made him a bit nervous—he wasn't completely without emotion, despite how he acted. He just knew how to hide it well, which was exactly what he planned on doing with these weird, unwanted feelings for Deidara, especially since the blond seemed to hate him so much. Itachi realized he was staring, so he casually looked down and away.

"Stop making such a big deal," he said calmly. "I'll have my half of the room, and you'll have yours; Kisame's old half. I expect he's already moved his furniture out and yours in." Without another word, he turned around and headed to the room, feeling a sort of excited dread in the pit of his stomach as he heard Deidara follow, uncharacteristically silent, behind him. This was going to be Hell, for more than one reason.

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**KissMeDeadlyT-T: Please read and review! If you're going to fave, can't you take a few seconds to tell me why you like it? Or why you don't? Constructive criticism, people! Plus, reviews make me happy.**

**Very happy.**

**So, please? :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**KissMeDeadlyT-T: I decided Fuck it, I'm too impatient to wait for people to review. Whatever. Barely anyone even favourited, lol, but it's okay; I decided to update for the two that did. Thanks guys haha :P Hopefully more people will find this and review? :( Yes, I'm a review/fave whore. (:**

**-Edited March 21 2012**

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**Denial and Acceptance **

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"Deidara," a voice said, and the blond jumped, nearly dropping the clay bird he'd been placing on his table, which was now standing next to his bed, rather than by his closet like in his previous room. How he liked it, goddamnit. He didn't like_ this_ room at all; it smelt like Itachi. It fucking smelt _good_. Almost like cinnamon, a highly addicting scent that made him feel sort of woozy, and made his cheeks feel warm and his stomach churn. And he hated every goddamn second of it. He would not, _could not_ live with this! Every damn second he was alone with the Uchiha, he wanted to tear his hair out; those damned calm, ruby/black/whatever the fuck color they were at the time eyes made him crazy! They made him and and homicidal, and warm, and fuzzy, and aroused and—wait, come by that again? He frowned, shaking his head. _I'm just overly stressed and my brain is thinking up weird shit_, he thought to reassure himself. _That's definitely it._

Thank _god_ Itachi had left the room for a while, or Deidara was sure he would have lost his mind by now. Whenever he saw the bastard, was anywhere near him, his heart would start racing, and his stomach would flutter, and he'd feel all hot—It had to be his burning hatred, _had to be,_ there was no other rational explanation! Plus, it was crazily cold in here. He _hated_ being cold. Sighing, he finally turned to the source of the familiar voice.

"What is it, Kisame, hmm?"

"I was just wondering... er, why is the closet on fire?"

Deidara looked at the shark-man. "I was practicing my art," he said, because that explained everything.

"Ah, I see. Well—"

"Just douse it in water, shouldn't be too hard for you."

"Yeah, I know, but I found—"

"Spit it out, un!"

"I would, if you'd stop interrupting me," Kisame said icily. Deidara rolled his eyes as Kisame went on, "I found this," he said, shuffling in his pocket, "and thought you'd want it back before it burnt to a crisp..." He took out a small paper and handed it to Deidara, silently slipping out of the room as the blond's eyes widened.

"Sasori," he whispered. His partner in crime, his rival when it came to art, and his best friend. Sapphire eyes started to swim with tears as he quickly sat down before his suddenly shaky knees could give out, gaze glued on the photo. It was of him and Sasori, a few months ago; Deidara had his tongue out, as usual, peeking out from behind Sasori's messy red hair as the puppet man gave a tiny smile to the camera. His heart throbbed painfully. Sure they'd argued, sure Sasori could be a cold-hearted bastard, snd their age difference was nothing to laugh at, either. Sure there were times when all he wanted to do was turn around and blow the little redhead up. But they were best friends. Or rather, they used to be. "Sasori..." he whimpered again, grinding his teeth together. Damnit, he'd promised himself he wouldn't cry! If he was there, Sasori would have scoffed and rolled his eyes, but Deidara couldn't help it. Despite his efforts one tear slid down his face, and he sobbed; it was like a dam broke, and suddenly, he couldn't hold back the tears anymore.

Why did he have to die? Why did that cursed old lady and stupid pink-haired girl have to kill him? _Why_? Bitterness towards everything in his life that had gone wrong tainted his heart, and he felt himself shaking, in utter anguish and anger. He used to love life, but now... There was no one he needed anymore. No one that needed _him_.

He didn't want to admit it, but that hurt.

He didn't know how long he sat there, staring at the picture, with tears wetting his tanned cheeks. He forgot everything except for the haunting memories of his best and only friend. He didn't even notice when the door opened.

At first, when Itachi walked in, he thought Deidara might have been reading, but no—Something was wrong. Deidara's usually cheerful and bright face was contracted in pain as tears washed down his face. It hit Itachi with an almost physical hurt; he'd admit it now, he cared about Deidara, more than any of the others. There was something about his passion for life and his art that drew the icy Uchiha to him, and to see him broken and defenseless like this made him feel horrible and faintly sick.

So, despite how he knew Deidara felt towards him, and despite the fact that he was supposed to be a cold-hearted, emotionless bastard, he gently sat next to the blond, who seemed the be in a trance as tears fell freely from his pretty eyes. Itachi glanced down and saw the picture. Ah, so it was Sasori. The two had always been close, and since his death, Deidara had changed. He was almost... jaded. Like he was afraid to get close to anyone again.

"Deidara," he said softly, shaking the bomber's tense shoulder gently. Deidara shuddered and seemed to snap out of it, his eyes widening and his breath hitching. With big, watery eyes he looked up at Itachi. Resentment flooded them, but didn't completely erase the sadness. Itachi stared coolly back, careful not the let his sharingan activate; Deidara hated that.

"What do you want, un?" Deidara snapped, though his voice lacked its usual bite. He wiped roughly at his eyes, blinking rapidly as he took in a shaky breath.

Itachi hesitated, and then, careful not to let too much emotion into his words, asked, "Are you okay?" His voice was deep, calm, soothing. Deidara relaxed a bit and stopped glaring, his eyes softening. He looked down at the picture for a moment, before carefully placing it on the table next to his bed.

"I'm fine," he said quietly, his hands wringing together in his lap. He seemed almost nervous. "But why do you care, hmm?"

Itachi didn't know what to say. He couldn't explain himself; he knew what he was feeling was wrong, stupid, and definitely not mutual. "Well, you're crying," he said, tilting his head to the side a bit. Deidara's eyes never left his, and it made him feel a little bit jittery, especially since there were no negative emotions in them towards him at all; just something like curiosity, and fear. Not fear of _him_... fear of something else, something Itachi couldn't place. "I just... I thought you might want to talk, so... I..." He was kind of shocked; he, Uchiha Itachi, was actually speechless? Sure, he didn't talk much, but he always had a snide remark in his mind. Searching quickly for words, he couldn't up with anything better than, "But I guess I was wrong, so forget about it."

He made to get up and awkwardly slink away to his side of the room, but was met with a resistance; upon looking back, he saw Deidara's hand clutching the sleeve of his coat. The blond's eyes were downcast, and his cheeks were a little pink, though Itachi supposed that must have been from crying.

"You don't have to leave, un," Deidara said. It was weird, Itachi thought, how quickly he could fall for someone. His heart did a stupid little stutter when blue eyes looked up to meet his black ones. "I... well, I don't really want to talk, but... I don't want to be alone," he finished in a mutter, like he was ashamed. "Can you just sit with me for a bit?" He looked so sad and hopeless that Itachi couldn't have refused if he wanted to.

"But why would you want to sit with someone you hate?" he asked, trying to remind him. Maybe if Deidara punched him or something and told him how much he hated his cold-hearted bastard attitude then he would feel semi-normal again and these troublesome feelings would disappear- before they had a chance to bloom into something even more troublesome.

Deidara shook his head, and Itachi wasn't sure if the funny feeling in his stomach was dread or excitement. He settled for surprised as the blond shrugged and said, "Well... I guess I thought I hated you, but... I really don't, I kinda just don't like you and sometimes want you to die but other than that, you're okay." Itachi felt stupidly relieved, and very amused. Deidara smirked, and it seemed he was going back to his usual self. Itachi felt a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, but he turned away to hide it.

"I never did understand that, you know," he said, sitting back down next to Deidara, a bit further than necessary but a lot closer than he usually would have. "What did I do to make you... dislike me?"

Deidara stared at him as though he'd grown a third head. "Duh? You insulted my art, 'Tachi, hmm."

_..."'Tachi?" _"I don't remember that," Itachi murmured thoughtfully. "Did I?"

"Yeah! It was a while ago, when you guys were getting me and stuff, and I know you don't respect it, ever since that day, and it honestly pisses me off!"

Itachi didn't particularly remember saying anything bad about his art, but nonetheless he said, letting some wry bemusement into his voice, "I apologize."

"Oh, nu-uh! Sorry doesn't cut it." Deidara stood, and apparently forgot that he was crying his heart out mere minutes ago as his eyes flared, their usual fire coming back. He held out his left hand, and the mouth on it stuck its tongue out crudely at the other man. "I was originally going to blow you up and force you to see its beauty, but I decided against it, since Pein is already pissed at me. Don't want him to kill me, hmm." A tiny butterfly fluttered out of the palm mouth and landed on Itachi's nose; he forced himself not to go cross-eyed to look at it like most people would do, and end up looking like a fool. He stared coolly at the blond as he went on, "So, I'll make it simple. If you admit that my art is beauty and tell me, _truthfully_, that you respect it, I'll stop disliking you and maybe consider that you're not so terrible after all."

Something told Itachi that there was more to it than that, that there was some other, unrelated reason Deidara wanted his approval so bad, but he ignored it. That little voice in the back of his head really needed to start shutting up.

Black eyes stared flatly at Deidara, who was worked up to the point where he was panting, his cheeks flushed with anger. Ignoring the fluttering clay bomb on his nose, which he could blow away if he wanted, he knew, Itachi warily said, "Look, Deidara; I never _said_ I didn't like it. You assumed that on your own. As for respecting it, I respect others' skills and interests, no matter what they may be. So—"

"If you're lying..." Deidara's voice held a threat, one that Itachi knew he'd have no trouble avoiding. He felt his eye twitch and he sighed. Sure he might have a...thing... for the bomber, but that didn't make him any less annoying.

Brushing his bangs out of his face he said, "I'm not lying. Your art is very... intriguing, and I respect it." He resisted the childish urge to add, "Happy?" snidely to the end of his sentence, and sat there calmly. Years of practice at being an ice cube could really pay off. Deidara looked close to exploding himself out of victory, but it seemed he still had more to complain about. Itachi felt like a student being scolded by a teacher, which made him imagine Deidara with a long ruler, threatening to beat him with a sadistic smirk on his pretty face... which aroused some very interesting sensations in his stomach, ones that he would prefer not to feel right now. He ignored it, swallowing the image away.

"Okay," Deidara said begrudgingly, and the butterfly flitted away from Itachi's face. "And there's one more thing. Your eye jutsu thingie, yeah."

"...My sharingan?"

"Yeah, that."

Deidara shifted uncomfortably. "Can I see it?"

"Why?"

"Because."

_How descriptive._ "Well... I don't see why not," Itachi murmured. He wouldn't ask any more, he didn't want to make it seem like he cared. Although he kind of did. Damn he hated these unfamiliar emotions... He activated his sharingan and looked at Deidara. The artist paled slightly, but he swallowed and nodded thoughtfully.

"Maybe it's not so bad," he mumbled under his breath, so quietly Itachi might have been imagining it. "You should turn it off, it's freaking me out, yeah."

Itachi did. "Why does it bother you?" he asked. He felt so... weird. He never spoke this much. But for whatever reason, he actually _liked_ speaking to this brat. _What has become of me? _he asked himself, feeling a sliver of guilt. _I feel like I'm betraying myself or something._

"It's just... you. And all the Uchihas I've ever met. You all look down on me with that stupid sharky-ham."

Itachi snorted and covered a bark of laughter with a cough. "Sharingan..."

"Whatever, un. I just feel like you go and flaunt that fancy jutsu and look down on my art, and I hate it. I don't care if you're more powerful than I am. I just care that you treat my art like _shit_, all of you, your brother Sasuke or whatever, both of you just stare at me with those stupid, calm, e_motionless_ eyes and I hate it! You think you're better than me!" By now he was all worked up again, his eyes feverish and his cheeks a nice pink color. Itachi found himself r_eally_ liking that sight, and was slightly frightened by the sudden image of a panting, moaning Deidara that popped into his head, so he kicked it in the face, quickly cleared his throat and responded,

"I told you earlier," his voice was shaky from the arousing visual, "I don't look down on you, or your art, and I only use my sharingan if I absolutely need to. I don't flaunt it."

The blond looked like he wanted to argue, but he just shrugged. "I'll admit you're not such a huge ass once you let down the facades and actually say something... besides that little 'hn' thing you're so fond of. But lemme make this clear; I don't hate you, but I don't like you."

Itachi didn't know why Deidara felt the need to clarify this, since it was obvious, but he shrugged too. "Fine by me," he murmured, standing up. Deidara didn't stop him this time, and got back to work setting up his half of the room, humming idly. For some reason, though, Itachi felt strangely light, and pleasant—and completely fucked up. _Well... he doesn't hate me anymore... I suppose that's an improvement. _He didn't know how, or what, but he felt like something bigger had changed. He wasn't sure if he wanted it; this wasn't like him. He felt almost... happy.

_Fuck._ He never really cursed, but this certainly warranted it, when something dawned on him. _I had better not be falling in love with that idiot..._

Every once in a while he thought he caught Deidara looking at him strangely, but every time he looked up, the blond was facing the other way. One time he glanced up and caught him, but Deidara hurriedly looked away, stubbornly setting his jaw and muttering something to himself, his cheeks reddening. Itachi wondered vaguely what he could possibly be thinking, but he didn't want to overthink things; so he looked back down at his book, ignored Deidara's presence, and everything felt almost normal again.

Almost being the key word.

_Maybe sharing a room won't be so bad after all..._

**xxXXxxXXxx**

**KissMeDeadlyT-T: Well, that was pretty much just a filler chapter. :P **

**Do I have to get on my knees and beg? D: I'm a whore for this shit, I'll do it if that's what you want Dx Heck, even favourites and story alerts are enough for this lady. I swear to God I need mental help, lol imagine me getting a review in the middle of class... I nearly die every time, and my teachers are always like "-_- Damn that freak in the corner is orgasming again..." Well, it's not that bad O.o But I do grin like a fool and sit there grinning for a bit.**

**So please? :) **


	3. Chapter 3

**KissMeDeadlyT-T: YAY! MORE REVIEWS! *happy dance* Hehe. You guys are like, ohmigod SasuNaru of the Akatsuki! It's true! *squee* Yea I'm overtired. Livin' offa caffeine again. Woooo~**

**I don't own Naruto! Darnit!**

**-Edited March 21 2012**

**xxXXxxXXxx**

**I already am**

**xxXXxxXXxx**

Itachi was screwed. Irrevocably, incorrigibly, unintelligibly screwed.

It had been a week since Deidara had moved into his room, and things had been going pretty well—They talked, got along okay, Deidara didn't try to blow up Itachi, and they'd even laughed once or twice. And with each contact, each clash of eyes, each argument, Itachi found himself falling harder and faster for the free-spirited blond, even found himself opening up and not being so emotionless all the time. Deidara brought him out of his shell. He didn't know what to do, but he knew that he was screwed.

This had been cemented when he'd returned from his mission with Kisame not an hour earlier. Someone had found out the location of their little organization, and needed to be silenced—permanently, and as quickly as possible. It had proven much more difficult than expected, since the ninja had been prepared and had an army of over twenty skilled shinobi with him, and Itachi had had to use more chakra than he would have liked. He'd even had to bring his mangekyō sharingan into it. Of course, the army was no match for them, but still, he was exhausted. Using his sharingan really took its toll on him.

He walked past where Pein was sitting with Konan, tossed a bloody kunai silently his way as a symbol for the completed mission, and walked away without saying a word. Kisame was right behind him.

"That mission was stupidly hard," the shark-man complained. Itachi 'hn'ed and blinked a few times.

"It's getting harder for me to see," he said quietly, squinting. Kisame patted his shoulder in a show of concern.

"You need to stop using that sharingan," he said, sounding genuinely worried. Itachi shrugged, but smiled a bit. Kisame was scary looking, but he was really just a big softie, and probably Itachi's only friend. Kisame knew more about him than any of the other Akatsuki members—maybe even more than Pein.

"I know," Itachi said hollowly, "but it was necessary to get the job done."

"I could've gotten him after you used that fireball jutsu," Kisame protested. "We could've escaped unharmed—"

"No, we couldn't. They all knew, not just him, and they all needed to go." He was right and they both knew it.

Kisame was silent for a moment, but he spoke up again, this time with a teasing lilt to his deep voice. "If you go blind, how are you supposed to ogle Deidara all the time?"

Itachi turned his head, stunned. "Excuse me?" he asked, somewhat defensively.

"Oh come on," Kisame grinned. "You think I'm the blind one or something? All of us can see how ridiculously bad you want him." He thought for a moment. "Well, maybe not Tobi; he's kind of slow."

Itachi felt his cheeks flushing despite his best efforts to make sure they didn't. "I don't know what you mean," he said, feeling like his throat was closing up. "I don't 'want' Deidara, that's ridiculous."

"Oh, so you make those 'fuck me' eyes at everyone, then, is that it?" Kisame frowned in mock disappointment. "I've never gotten them."

"Kisame," Itachi said shortly.

"It's the gills, isn't it?"

Itachi turned fully on him. "Kisame, shut up!" he growled. He shoved his arm into its sleeve and yanked the zipper up to his chin, glowering at his partner from behind it.

"Ooh, scary. That's the most emotion I've ever seen from you," the shark-man remarked. "You really do like him, don't you?"

"I—I do _not_!" Itachi sputtered before he could stop it. He tried to compose himself. "Look," he said calmly, swallowing hard. "If anything, I consider Deidara a _friend_. Nothing more. You're being an idiot."

"Oh, this is priceless." Kisame chuckled. "You're in denial?"

"I'm not denying anything." He wasn't. He knew he wanted Deidara, he was just too stubborn to admit it. To himself or out loud.

"Sure, Itachi. If you say so."

In a rather out of character way, Itachi snapped, "I do, so shut up before I kick your ass." Sheesh, Deidara was influencing him in a lot of ways. By now, they had arrived to his room. Without a word, he threw open the door and walked in, slamming it on Kisame's laughing face. Sighing, Itachi leaned back on the door and shut his eyes, trying to calm down and get his walls back up.

"'Tachi?"

_Ugh, why couldn't you be out? I don't want to see you right now. _Looking up for the source of the familiar, heart palpitation-inducing voice, he did his best to appear as his usual stoic, calm, cold self. It was dark in the room, though, like nighttime, so he didn't have to worry about his appearance so much as his voice. "Yeah, it's me," he said as steadily as he could, feeling a bit more like himself now. He pulled at his collar. "Why is it so warm in here? And dark?"

"I turned up the heat a bit."

"A bit?

Deidara ignored that. "I just got outta the shower, and you keep it freezing in here. I was gonna nap after so I turned off the lights, un." His voice was muffled, and Itachi couldn't locate him. His eyes were either really messed up, or Deidara was hiding from him.

"I see," Itachi muttered, but his mind was stuck on the 'shower' part. He tried to ignore the extremely appealing images that flew into his head, he really did, not that it worked too well. "Didn't you have any missions?"

"Yeah, me an' Tobi finished up quickly, but we got all dirty, so I wanted to clean it off, y'know? Dirt is gross. Hmm."

_Do not think about Deidara naked in the shower. Do not, Itachi, do __**not**__!_ "I see," Itachi said again, stepping away from the door and towards his bed. He unzipped his coat and threw it to the side, flopping onto the bed, letting an arm rest over his hurting eyes. He lay there silently resting for a while, his sore muscles screeching at him, when he heard some shuffling and Deidara bite out an "Ouch". He moved his arm and peeked to see Deidara's shorter form walking out of the closet, sucking on his finger. He flushed and snapped his eyes away, placing his arm back over them as a blindfold.

_I swear to god... he's going to be the death of me..._

"Fuckin' hanger, cut my finger," Deidara murmured.

"Why on earth were you in the closet?" Itachi asked.

"Oh, I was changing, but I heard you yelling at Kisame, which was funny by the way, even though I have no idea why you'd wanna kick his ass, and open the door so I ran into the closet so we wouldn't have any awkward moments. You probably didn't wanna see me naked, un."

_Do. Not. Think. About. Him. Naked. _"Yeah, you're right," Itachi lied through his teeth.

"Hmm."

"...So," Itachi said. "Is this your way of coming out of the closet, then?"

He heard Deidara snort back a laugh. "You wish, asshole." It was funny, because Itachi really, really did. He made the mistake of sitting up then, letting his arm fall from his eyes, just as Deidara flipped on the lights. The sudden brightness made pain bloom behind his eyelids, which he clenched together quickly, and it felt like his head was about to split. He bit his lip, hoping Deidara wouldn't notice. His head fell into his hands and he willed the pain to leave; after a few seconds, it did, fading to a dull throb in his eye sockets. He groaned quietly, pressing his palms to his eyes.

"Oh, shit! Are you okay?"

Itachi felt hands grasp his shoulders, and he silently but vehemently willed Deidara to leave. "I'm fine," he said, letting his hands fall and blinking a few times to adjust to the light. When his eyes focused, he almost had another dizzy spell, but not from pain this time. The sight he was met with made his mouth go dry.

Deidara was looming over him, slanted blue eyes wide with curious worry and a frown on his smooth face as he examined Itachi closely, form barely a foot away. His hair was completely loose, falling down around his shoulders and next to Itachi's face, slightly wet and messy and tangled. As if that wasn't enough, he was shirtless. The stitching on his arms and chest was painfully obvious against his tanned skin, and his pants were sitting so low it shouldn't be legal. Itachi was positive that if he had had one less sliver of self restraint, he would have flipped Deidara over and taken him right then and there.

"Are you sure? You look kinda messed up."

Itachi had never seen him without a shirt before, and he could honestly say he was missing out. The way that soft—damp, oh fuck it was _wet_—skin pulled tightly over toned muscles made his lower areas warm and jump considerably. He gaped, realized he was gaping, and hurriedly tried to compose himself. He slapped a hand to his nose to stop the oncoming nosebleed and blinked. Had Deidara asked him something? His lips were moving, but...

"No, I—I'm fine. I just, I have a headache," he got out, hoping that the answer made sense in accordance to what Deidara had said—he didn't know what the question had been at all. His throat felt all weird ad thick and he'd never felt anything like this before— He was always so calm and composed! Damn that stupid idiotic troublesome sexy blond for messing him up. Deidara was way too close, and if he didn't move _right now_, Itachi was going to do something he'd regret.

"Well, okay, if you say so, but do you want a cold facecloth? It always helps me when I get a headache from Tobi, hmm."

"That's fine..."

"You sure?"

_For the love of—Fuck! Let go of me! _Itachi didn't know how to say that without sounding rude, so he just asked, somewhat snarkily, "Since when do you care about my well-being? Maybe you're the ill one." He almost regretted it, but when Deidara made an embarrassed sound, he decided he didn't.

"No, I just... Hmm! You helped me when I was down the other day, so I figured I'd return the favour!" Deidara finally, mercifully let go of Itachi's shoulders and turned away. His cheeks were bright red, and he avoided looking Itachi's way as he stormed over to the other side of his room, throwing a mesh shirt and black belly-showing muscle top on with his black pants, which Itachi was silently willing him to pull up. He put his hair in its usual half-ponytail, his lips set in an irritated pout. Itachi was tempted to comment on his obvious embarrassment, but refrained from doing so.

Instead, he relented and said, "Well... a cold cloth might do some good."

Deidara glared. "You're such a bastard," he muttered as he stormed towards their bathroom. Itachi sat there on his bed and waited as he heard the tap running. It squeaked as Deidara shut it off, and the sound of water being wringed out of a cloth was heard, along with the sound of pills clicking against each other and filling a cup with water. Moments later, Deidara walked back into the bedroom, a damp cloth in his left hand, and a white pill and glass of water in his right one.

Sitting next to Itachi, he handed the cup and the pill to him. Itachi had no idea why Deidara was suddenly being so nice to him, but he didn't complain or question it; instead he swallowed the pill with a mumble of "Thanks" and reached for the cloth. Deidara shook his head.

"Lay down, it'll work better, un."

Itachi obeyed, taking a moment to untie his hair. It fanned out beneath him, and he thought he heard Deidara's breath hitch, but before he could open his eyes the blond was pressing him down and ordering him to relax. _Damn, I wish he could be pushing me down into my bed in a different situation... preferably with him naked and- _He stopped that train of thought right there and tried not to fidget. Soon the cool, damp cloth was lying across his clothed eyes soothingly. Deidara was right; it _did_ work. It was already helping.

"Thanks," Itachi said again. "Why are you being so nice, anyway?"

Deidara scoffed and poked Itachi's cheek. "What?" he demanded, his voice wavering oddly. "I thought we were _friends_, Itachi. Can't I be nice for no reason? Maybe I'm in a good mood."

Itachi raised his eyebrows, a lost gesture since they were covered. "You told me you didn't like me. Since when are we 'friends'?"

"Huh?"

"You said something along the lines of, I don't hate you, that doesn't mean I like you, or something."

"Oh... did I?"

"Yeah, you did."

Deidara didn't say anything for a while. Finally, in a small, shaky, but snarky voice, he grumbled, "Maybe I changed my mind." There was something in the way he said it that made Itachi frown and sit up. He moved the cloth up so he could see, and studied Deidara, who was staring hard at a piece of fuzz on the white carpet, like it held all the answers to the millions of questions obviously swirling in his head. He seemed to be thinking very hard about something, something that frightened him. Itachi noticed how his Adam's apple bobbed when he swallowed nervously, and how he had his hands clutched at his thighs. He was the very epitome of anxiety.

"What's wrong?" Itachi asked, wondering about the sudden change in attitude.

"It's nothing," Deidara said quickly, his voice freaked, like he'd just discovered something he didn't want to know. He stood up so fast it made Itachi's head spin and blurted, "I just remembered—uh, I told Tobi we'd get in some training. See ya."

"You just showered," Itachi pointed out, but the door was already slammed shut. Sighing against the disappointment in the pit of his stomach, and the burning curiosity about what had the bomber so shaken, he laid back down, letting the cloth fall back onto his eyes. All he could see was black, and the permanent picture of Deidara looking down at him with that cutely worried look on his face. It made his heart skip a beat. Growling in frustration, he rested his arm over his eyes, gritting his teeth.

_This can__**not**__ be happening. I don't want to fall in __**love **__with him! But... damnit..._

"Fuck," he groaned. "I'm so screwed."

_...I already am._

**xxXXxxXXxx**

**KissMeDeadlyT-T: Hehe, I like making Itachi a nice guy... sorta. Makes him more loveable :D I really like the next chapter, and I hope you guys will, too :D It's pretty short though, bummer. **

**Review, please? :3 Don't worry. I update even if no one reviews, I've decided... but still. They are appreciated. O.O**


	4. Chapter 4

**KissMeDeadlyT-T: I'm glad you guys like Itachi in this as much as I do :3 hehehehe... This chapter is maybe my favourite. Read on!**

**-Edited March 21 2012**

**xxXXxxXXxx**

**Kisame's real name is Dr. Love**

**xxXXxxXXxx**

After slamming it shut behind him, Deidara leaned against the door of his and Itachi's shared room, his heart beating a mile a minute and his mind swirling frantically. Oh, this was bad. Bad, bad, bad. He didn't like Itachi. He didn't _like Itachi_, goddamnit! No. It was more. Lately, he'd been feeling something different. He was only realizing the full extent of it now, and the intensity of his emotions scared him.

_When did I go from wanting to __**kill**__ him to just__** wanting**__ him? _he wondered to himself. He licked his lips, trembling. The moment when Itachi had taken his hair out of its ponytail kept replaying like a skipping disc in his head, and it made him feel a bit light headed, and something in his stomach curled pleasantly. He wanted to touch that hair so bad, to touch _all_ of Itachi, to have Itachi touch _him_, his hair, his body... everywhere, places he'd never wanted to be touched before... And, oh god, when Itachi sat up, and their faces were so close, he'd felt the Uchiha's warm, cinnamon breath on him, and that _voice_, that sexy, deep, _cold_ voice so close to his ear... Those sinfully perfect lips, those cursed darkly lashed eyes, even the lines on his face... Itachi was so beautiful it _hurt_.

Deidara's breath started to come quicker, and he sank to the floor, trying not to hyperventilate. Yes, he was having a nervous breakdown, in the middle of the hallway, from finally realizing what he was feeling, but there nothing he could do to stop it.

It wasn't possible—but here he was, freaking out over the very man he'd sworn to hate and kill ever since he'd met him and first saw the beautiful yet terrifying power he wielded. "No, no, no, please no...! Why him?" he muttered to himself, looking down at the frowning mouths on his palms like they held the answers he was searching for. Maybe these feelings had been here all along and he'd just confused them with hatred? No, that couldn't be it; he _had_ hated Itachi, so powerfully that if feelings could kill, the Uchiha would have been long gone. He didn't know when along the line that hatred had turned into lust which had turned into desire which had led to finally, he didn't want to admit it, but the beginnings of something much, much deeper.

His heart thundered in his ears and his head hurt from all this thinking. "I can't tell him," he whispered to himself, resolute. He tried to breathe normally, but coming to terms with this—and accepting it—was hard. Falling for someone he was supposed to despise was no easy task.

"What're you doing?"

Deidara jumped, his eyes flickering around to find the source of the voice. "Kisame," he said weakly. "Hi."

The shark-man stared at him quizzically. "Did you and Itachi have another fight, or what? You look ready to cry."

"No, we're fine," Deidara said quickly, his stomach doing funny flips. Kisame looked down at him, his beady white eyes suspicious.

"Well, what's with you, then?"

"It's nothing, un." He did his best to keep his voice steady, but judging from the look on Kisame's blue face and the way he set his strong jaw, he wasn't doing very well.

"Come on," Kisame said gruffly, grunting as he grabbed Deidara and threw him over his shoulder like a potato sack. Deidara shouted in protest and kicked at him, but Kisame just ignored him as though he were a pesky fly and walked into his room, tossing the snarling blond onto the bed.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Deidara screeched.

"What's gotten into you?" the shark-man growled, ignoring him once again. "Fuck. You and Itachi are both driving me mad."

"Look, it's nothing!" Deidara snapped, his temper flaring. "Where do you get of kidnapping me, hmm? Itachi is Itachi, and I'm me. As always. Nothing is going on, so stop getting invol—"

"Oh yeah, sure. I really wish you two would just fuck already, this sexual tension is getting out of hand."

Deidara froze, his eyes going dinner-plate round and his face draining to an alarming shade of white. "Excuse me?" he demanded, not entirely sure he'd heard right.

"You heard me," Kisame said with a great amount of irritation. "It's awful. Kind of disturbing, actually. I've never seen Itachi so out of it. He actually got hit the other day because he was daydreaming— Itachi _never_ gets hit. Oh, and," he lowered his voice, "he'd probably kill me if he knew I was telling you this, so don't tell him, okay? You can tell just by being in the same room as you two at the same time that you both want to rip each others' clothes off and start dry humping like a couple of animals in heat. I think the only one who hasn't figured it out yet is Tobi."

If Deidara's jaw wasn't attached to his face, it would have been on the floor now. He didn't say anything, shocked into silence. _Wait, so... Kisame's saying... Itachi likes me? Is that it? _After a moment, then weakly denied, "I don't... want Itachi. I don't like him like that." He didn't get how the rest of the Akatsuki could know while he was only just figuring it out himself. Had he been in denial for that long?

"You're kidding," Kisame said in disbelief. "I know you're still coming to terms with it, but honestly? Come on. You can't tell me you haven't fantasized about him." He grinned in a perverted way, baring pointed teeth. "You've never seen him shirtless, have you? Probably just using your imagination, am I right?" He put his head on his hand, leaning forward in interest. "He's really strong, and you can tell. I bet you've never seen him in the rain, either. His hair is all wet and tangled and his coat starts to cling to him, everywhere, and you can see every last detail of his body, and—"

"Fuck! Stop!" _He's doing that on purpose, damnit!_ Deidara grumbled in his head as he felt his stomach heat up at the sexy visual that he now had in his head, thanks to Kisame's torturous words and his overactive imagination. "This is awkward on so many levels," he mumbled, his face flushing. "Can we not speak about this?"

"I'm just saying," Kisame shrugged. "I think you really need to take initiative. I don't know how much longer I can deal with this male PMS-ing, sexually frustrated Itachi, and he's too much of a stubborn bastard to make the first move."

When Deidara just stared at him widely, not able to find any words, Kisame went on his tone almost pleading, "Please, Deidara. Itachi is driving me up the wall. I mean, he's still all quiet and stuff... but _man_ is he bitchy. Like Konan on her period." They both shuddered. "You say anything the wrong way to him, and he goes all silently psycho, it's scary as fuck. I think I'd rather face his mangekyō sharingan than this. I'm pretty sure I've passed Hidan's level of insanity by now."

Deidara was still gaping. Kisame sighed. "Just... do something. Anything. You'll both end up enjoying it in the end," he grinned again, "if you know what I mean."

Deidara stared at him in horror. "I am _not_ discussing my sex life with you, Kisame!" he sputtered. He'd never felt so awkward in his life. Ever. Kisame's grin widened.

"Well, don't, then," he said, yanking the small blond off of the bed. He pushed him toward the door. "Go out there and d_o_ something about your nonexistent, pathetic excuse for one!" With that, he shoved the blond out of the door and slammed it behind him. Deidara stumbled, but once he caught himself he stared back at the door with wide eyes for a few moments, not quite knowing what exactly just happened, before jerking back to reality and composing himself.

"Like yours is any better! Hmm!" he yelled to the closed door, giving it a sharp kick for good measure. Kisame's snort and laughter was muffled, but amused. Deidara growled for a minute and then looked down the hall, to his room, three doors down. Right now, he honestly didn't think he could face Itachi, despite what Kisame had just said. He knew he was avoiding it, but what could he do? He was fairly sure he'd have another nervous breakdown if he went in there right now, so freshly having been told that the person he desperately wanted probably wanted him just as bad, if not more. It was a bit too much to handle.

He decided he'd find a nice, empty clearing and practice his art for a couple of hours to calm himself. "Yeah," he muttered to himself, fixing his cloak. "I really need to blow some shit up."

xxXXxxXXxx

After Deidara left, Kisame grinned to himself. He stood and walked out of his room. He was positive something would happen when Deidara got back, and he couldn't have the rest of the Akatsuki hanging around for the grand finale of his plan, now could he?

"Are there any missions available?" he asked Pein upon arriving at the living room. The orange haired man nodded, putting down his novel. Seeing him do something so normal was... weird, but Kisame didn't dwell on it. He looked at his leader expectantly.

"None of them are of much importance," Pein said. "Why do you ask?"

Kisame grinned a bit. "Let's just say I need to empty the base for a while. Just a few hours, tops. Who's still here?"

Pein shrugged, but didn't ask anymore. "The only people gone are Zetsu, Hidan and Kakuzu. But you and Itachi just returned from a mission, didn't you?"

"Yeah, but Itachi's not coming. He needs to rest some," Kisame lied. Heck no! Itachi was part of his grand master plan!

"Well, I guess you can go with Tobi, since I have no idea where Deidara went... Why do you want to empty the base, anyway?"

Kisame shrugged. "You know how Itachi's been a little bitch lately, like Konan having her PMS?" He knew that was the best way to describe it so what Pein would understand what he was saying. And it worked.

Pein paled slightly under all his piercings, but nodded. Kisame went on, "Well, let's just say, that if everything goes right, when we get back, he should be back to normal... if not a little more cheerful."

Pein frowned, his rinnegan eyes narrowing. "How is this happening?"

"Well, Itachi'll be alone, you know?"

"Yeah, and?"

"Deidara. Deidara's gonna happen."

Finally, it dawned on Pein. "Well," he said, sounding impressed. "You're... nice, trying to finally get them together. It's about time something happens. Are you some love guru now?" he asked dryly, setting his chin on his hand.

Kisame grinned at the pierced man. "Maybe. I'm just tired of Itachi acting like a psycho bitch, and I figure he'll go back to normal once he gets some of his sexual frustration out."

Pein chuckled and shook his head. "Okay, go, get Tobi." He made a shooing motion with his hands. "I'll grab Konan and we'll head out."

Kisame grinned again. "Perfect."

**xxXXxxXXxx**

**KissMeDeadlyT-T: Oooooh! I love Kisame in this! :D Next chapter might take a while, I got writer's block... sigh... *sits in emo corner with Sasuke and talks about emo stuff***

**Me: Life sucks. Writer's block. Urg.**

**Sasuke: Indeed. My brother killed my family, you know? My life is kinda depressing. And I'm out there being a douche, when I should realize I love Naruto and go back to Konoha, man life is not good these days.**

**Me: *sigh* Agreed, my friend. Agreed.**

**Sasuke: :(**

**Me: ... :D Go get Naruto to fuck you.**

**Sasuke: ... :D Okay. **

**Naruto: *appears* Hey, since when am I—OMG SASUKE! *glomp***

***...smut ensues...***

**Me: Well... Life just got a whole lot better. *takes out video camera and sketchbook***

**... :D**

**Sorry guys, I'm bored O_o ohandi forgot to say, but sorry for any typos. This is unbeta'd.**

**Review? ;D**


	5. Chapter 5 Sorry it took so damn long!

**KissMeDeadlyT-T: FINALLY FUCKING FINALLY I FINISHED THIS CHAPTER OMG IT'S A MIRACLE HOLY SHIT.**

**...I got a sudden bunch of reviews the other day (week ^^") and I think I nearly keeled over and died of joy! Thanks! (: It made me laugh when people were telling me to beat up my writer's block. I tried, and did... sorta? **

**-Also, I had someone mention to me that Hidan is the second youngest in the Akatsuki. Well, according to Narutopedia, Deidara is nineteen, Itachi is twenty-one and Hidan is twenty-two. So yeah, I get my info from there, so sorry if it's wrong :]**

**-SORRY! This took so long to come out... it always takes me forever to write the last chapter. Also, as I've said many many times... WRITER'S FUCKING BLOCK. Also (I say also a lot) I was almost done it, and then my sister walked in and I panicked (I mean, I was editing the ****SEX****) and I don't know how it happened but I ended up deleting the last five pages (about half) and I couldn't make it come back! No ctrl+z or anything would undo it! *cries* IDFK what happened, but I've finally finished it... again... The ending was originally way more awesome, but I couldn't remember it so I just rewrote what I ****could**** remember. Hopefully it doesn't suck ^^" It might seem a bit jumbled because it was written at different times, but... I tried ^^"**

**-This lady here does not own Naruto. Urgh.**

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Itachi was still lying on his bed, half asleep, when he suddenly noticed something; the building was quiet. It was never really _loud_, but there were always the sounds of people walking around, others breathing, and the feeling of their chakra, but right now, there was absolutely nothing. Frowning against the dull pounding in his eye sockets, he sat up, the now nearly dry cloth falling from his face onto his lap. A glance at the clock told him he'd been lying around for about two hours, and a quick reach-out of his chakra let him know he was completely alone, not another soul in the nearby vicinity.

"That's not right," he muttered to himself, setting the cloth neatly on his bedside table. There were always at least two people at the base, and there was _never_ a time when all of the Akatsuki was out at once, unless there was an emergency of sorts. He swallowed and his frown deepened. Had something happened, and they'd had to evacuate, without having the time to alert him? No, that couldn't be it... There was nothing and no one that would be able to take them all on and live to tell the tale. So what was going on?

He was about to get up and look around the base, when suddenly he felt an oncoming chakra, a familiar one, but he was too out of it to match it to a face. Calmly, just in case, he grabbed a kunai from the middle drawer of his bedside table and crept out the door and down the hall. He would have activated his sharingan, but it really wasn't worth it; plus, he had to cut down on that. Already his vision was becoming blurrier. He was walking quietly down the hall, poised for attack, when he caught a fraction of the chakra, again; this time he realized who it was. He dropped his arms and let the kunai dangle loosely off his middle finger.

"Sheesh," he heard a voice murmur from around the corner. "Where is everyone? Hmm." Itachi slipped around the corner, his stomach doing a ridiculous and stupid (if you asked him) motion upon seeing the familiar, long, blond hair and golden skin, slightly scratched up and dirty with soot. Clearly, he'd been having a hell of a time with his exploding art, and _damn_, did he look good all messy and filthy like that...

"Hey," Itachi said to tear himself out of his staring before it could turn into some freak daydream or something. Deidara yelped and whirled around, his eyes wild and mouthed hands held up in an attacking pose, but he relaxed once he saw who it was.

Well, he relaxed in the sense that he knew someone wasn't about to attack him... He wasn't exactly _calm_, not after that talk with Kisame.

"Itachi," he said in a sort of strangled relief, avoiding the Uchiha's searching black eyes. "Where is everyone?"

"That's what I was trying to figure out." Itachi twirled the kunai around his middle finger twice before sticking it in his white belt.

Deidara frowned, like he was thinking about where they could be, but really he was just extremely nervous. His heart did a weird tugging thing, and his fingers twitched.

So. They were completely and totally alone, no one around for miles?

_I swear to god that if I get a case of nervous diarrhoea right now, I will kill myself. _He remembered Kisame's words, telling him to make the first move. _No, wait, I'll kill Kisame, it's his damn fault. Sushi sounds good. Yeah. _Shuddering in repulsion he muttered angrily, "Damn fish, I bet you anything he has something to do with this."

"Kisame?" Itachi asked, a faint trace of amusement in his voice. "What do you mean?"

Deidara looked up at him nervously, and Itachi thought that if looking adorable could kill, he would have spontaneously combusted right then and there. The blond's voice was unsteady (which internally made Itachi squee—shut up) as he said, "Kisame... he wanted me to do something... I guess he thought it'd be better if no one else was around, hmm." _Yeah, he probably just felt bad for me and got everyone out so they wouldn't see me making an ass of myself! _

He was shaking enough for Itachi to see it. He frowned, wondering what had him so damn nervous, but even he had to admit that Kisame had been acting a little fishy lately...

No pun intended, of course.

"Well... what did he want you to do?"

Deidara's face paled. "Uh... well."

"Deidara?"

Blue eyes were staring hugely at the wall behind Itachi and Deidara tried his best to stay calm. So... according to Kisame, Itachi wanted him just as bad as he wanted Itachi, right, and he just had to make the first move if he wanted anything to come of it? Well, the fact that Itachi liked him back was great, he was thrilled, but the damn bastard had to go and be too damn shy to do anything! Which is where the problem came in. Deidara was clueless on what he was supposed to do! He had no experience liking guys, heck he had no experience liking _girls_.

The closest thing he'd ever had to a relationship like _that _was that one time Hidan had gotten him and Sasori hammered— Deidara couldn't remember anything from that night besides blinding heat and ecstasy and Sasori screaming his name, which he really preferred to forget. He was, however, _positive _on the fact that he was still a... virgin, in the back door, so to speak, which comforted him a bit... but not really. He refused to think he fucked his best friend and preferred to just not think about it at all.

So, he didn't know what to do to make the first move, and didn't know what to do if anything happened _after_... It was all very embarrassing, actually. _Like, fuck! I'm nineteen goddamn years old!_ What if he did something Itachi didn't like? And then he decided he didn't want him anymore?

He knew he was over thinking it, but _seriously..._

"Are you even in there?" Itachi asked, his eyebrows drawing together as he grabbed the blond's cheeks in his palms and forced his face upwards, making their eyes meet. Deidara resembled a deer caught in headlights and his cheeks burst into red heat at the proximity of their faces. They were so close, he could see each little eyelash that framed the taller man's dark eyes. Itachi smelt so _good_, and his eyes were actually concerned (probably for his sanity), and his hair was still untied, creating a thick black veil around his mesh covered shoulders, and _holy fuck he's touching me_ _no one pinch me fuck—_

"Hey, listen to me," Itachi was saying, shaking Deidara's shoulders lightly. "What's gotten into you?"

"Please tie back your hair, it's making me nervous," Deidara blurted, before slapping his hands over his mouth in embarrassment. _Why, mouth? __**Why**__? Why would you say something so fucking retarded at a time like this?_ He groaned as Itachi frowned and slowly put his hair in a messy ponytail, looking at Deidara as though he was crazy.

"Okay..."

"Oh god," Deidara muttered in shame. "I'm sorry, I just... uhh." His brain stopped working again when he looked up at Itachi, who was looking back down with a look of amused concern on his face. "Um, hehe." Itachi's face was so close... _Oh my fucking god Deidara, you are a complete idiot! It's just Itachi for fuck's sake!_ "Uhh..." _Fucking brain! Work! _

"Spit it out." Itachi raised an eyebrow. "Come on, Dei, you're freaking me out."

_What? Itachi called me... I have a nickname? Ooohh..._

When Deidara didn't respond and just stood there stupidly looking at him, Itachi sighed. He shook his head impatiently and slapped Deidara on the cheek, shouting, "Deidara!"

Deidara finally snapped out of his idiotic trance-like state and his eyes widened in shock. "Jeeze, sorry," he said hastily, putting a hand to his face. The mouth on it opened and the tongue poked out to lick the tender skin, and he didn't miss the way Itachi's eyes drifted towards it with a barely repressed look of desire. Deidara was going to make a fool of himself, he knew it, he wasn't experienced enough for this! Itachi was so gorgeous, so smart, so skilled, so perfect, and he'd been so popular back before he'd killed his clan... he'd probably had plenty of relationships and lots of experience in this field. Would he even want Deidara knowing that he had none whatsoever? "I was just... er, thinking... hmm."

"Do you always space out like that when you're thinking? No wonder you don't do much of it," Itachi said sarcastically, but he was smiling. _Smiling_, for real. It was a tiny one, but there nonetheless. Deidara had never seen Itachi _really _smile before and he stared for a moment, almost captured by the beauty of it, but he shook himself before he could go into another weird nervous breakdown trance thing.

_My god, I am such an idiot. _"Shut up, I think all the time, un."

"Mhm." Itachi's hands were still on his shoulders and his smile turned into more of a lopsided, sarcastic smirk. It looked damn good on him, and Deidara almost felt envious; No one should be allowed to look so perfect all the time.

"I do!" Deidara protested, grabbing the front of Itachi's black shirt, ironically, without thinking. "I've been thinking nonstop for the past two weeks, so don't go and give me any crap about how I don't think! Hmm!" Despite what he was saying, he just now realized what sort of position this put them in; it was almost an embrace, with Itachi's hands on his shoulders and his own fingers clutching at his chest. He could feel Itachi's body heat through it, and the hardness of his body, and it made his heart beat quicker.

"Uh... you were talking about something Kisame wanted you to do?" Itachi reminded him, still smirking a bit. Since he never really smiled, today was weird.

Deidara's fingers tightened in Itachi's shirt and he swallowed, looking down. Bad mistake. He was holding the shirt so hard it had lifted a bit, showing a sliver of creamy skin. His eyes snapped away and before he could chicken out he blurted, "Kisame wanted me to make the first move." He tugged Itachi closer, his throat feeling like it was stuffed with cotton. _This is going to end badly... I don't even know how to kiss!_

He knew Itachi was staring down at him in confusion, his cheeks painted a very faint pink. He felt the slightly taller man's heartbeat quicken, and heard his breath catch. "First... first move, you say?" Itachi questioned, his eyes flickering between each of Deidara's. He licked his lips, and Deidara died a little bit on the inside. He couldn't even remember how it felt to hate this man.

"Yeah... first move. I don't... I've never... I have no idea what I'm doing," Deidara admitted. Itachi seemed shocked, but Deidara ignored his nerves and pressed his body close to Itachi's, biting his lip. Before he could talk himself out of it he shut his eyes tight and pulled Itachi's head down to meet his, throwing caution and any anxiety to the wind as he melded their lips uncertainly together.

Itachi tensed up in shock for a moment, his fingers tightening on Deidara's shoulders, disbelief hitting him like a ton of bricks. He felt the warm lips on his, and felt the lean, hard body moulded against his own, but what was happening didn't completely register. His eyes drifted down, and upon seeing the determined, desiring flush on the bomber's cheeks it dawned on his that yes, this was really happening; Deidara was kissing him. Those lips that he'd stared at for minutes on end and always wistfully assumed were never to be touched by him were on his own, uncertainly but firmly moving in what had to be the most arousing sexy way. He let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding and his hands dropped from the blond's shoulders to his hips, pulling their bodies even closer together.

_What the hell is going on here? Deidara... there's no __**way**__ he feels the same..._

Deidara parted his lips to take in a shaky breath, and his heart skipped a beat—or three—when he finally felt Itachi respond by parting his own lips just slightly and pressing back with just enough force to push Deidara gently into the wall.

"Oh god," Deidara choked out as Itachi hands trailed down his arms to grab his wrists, which he pinned against the wall above Deidara's head. He tentatively poked his tongue out to trace the seam of Itachi's lips, which must have been a good move, if Itachi's shudder was of any significance. "Itachi—" he tried to say, but instead found himself pressed harder to the wall, not enough space between their bodies to slide in pin through. He felt something in his stomach curl hotly when Itachi nibbled at his lip. Shyly he parted his lips, and barely a second later, he felt Itachi's tongue invade his mouth, sliding along his own in such a sexy way that Deidara felt his knees wobble.

With a gasp he pulled away, panting slightly. "Uh...I..."

"Way to kill the mood. Don't tell me you changed your mind," Itachi growled, and Deidara was alarmed at the sound of it, but in a good way. It was almost as if Itachi was a starving animal, which, to be honest, made Deidara feel very tingly and out of breath.

"No, sorry, I didn't, I just... I've never really... you know, done anything," he babbled, "well except for that time I was drunk with Sasori, but never mind that, and you'll probably—"

Itachi seemed relieved. "I don't care, Deidara. I've wanted this for so long..."

The blond's eyes widened a little bit in disbelief. "But you... you can't tell me you've never done... anything like this. You were popular and—"

Itachi shook his head. "I had no time for anything like that."

"But— I mean, you're hot, you're so smart, you're _perfect_, you must have—"

"Deidara," Itachi interrupted curtly, planting a short kiss on Deidara's rambling mouth. Instantly Deidara shut up, clamping his lips shut and turning beet red. "I've never had feelings for anyone before, nor have I ever felt sexually attracted to anyone. Why would I do anything with someone I didn't want?"

Hearing Itachi practically admit out loud how he felt about him, Deidara made a ridiculous nervous giggle, which made Itachi's lips twitch up. "Uh... I don't know," the artist said, trying to ignore the amused smile forming on Itachi's face and the fact that he'd just laughed like some dumbass love-struck schoolgirl.

"But you... you," his face burned, and he tore his wrists out of Itachi's grip, glaring at the floor, "how are you so good at it then?"

"Am I?" When Deidara awkwardly nodded, Itachi muttered "huh" and raised an eyebrow. "Beginner's luck?"

Deidara made a strange squawking sound. "That was your first—?"

"Obviously. Did you not hear what I said five seconds ago?"

"You really never—"

"Deidara," Itachi interrupted again, sighing. "I'm one hundred percent a virgin. Before that, I'd never even kissed anyone." His voice was rather strained, like he was trying very hard not to do something. Deidara supposed he was trying not to do _him, _and he felt slightly guilty. Stupid insecurities.

"Sorry, I just, well I figured I'm not all that great, and I know the Uchiha clan was known for being really attractive and I just thought you would—"

He was once again cut off by the gentle press of Itachi's lips on his, and somehow it made all his worries ebb away. "Deidara," Itachi said, his annoyance barely repressed. Damn, he loved this guy, but he was so _irritating_. Couldn't he tell how bad Itachi just wanted to flip him over and screw him into the wall right now? "You're beautiful. Now shut up and let this happen."

For a few moments, Deidara just gaped at him. He finally nodded, deciding that he was being a complete idiot. "Okay," he said simply, sounding more like himself now. When Itachi leaned down again, he put a hand on his chest, pushing him away with a small flush. "But can we go to our room first?"

Itachi scowled, clearly frustrated. His eye twitched. "Deidara—"

"Look, I'm not trying to be annoying, but I really don't relish the thought of someone walking in and seeing us." Deidara tugged his arm and started to drag him down the hallway, ignoring the death glare Itachi was throwing at him. "Can you imagine if we were doing, uh, you know, and our leader walked in? I think I would kill myself. Or Tobi. Missions would never be the same. I'd be so pissed, 'cause he'd completely ruin the moment." He opened the door, still talking. "Oh, my god, or Hidan. Man, we would never hear the end of that—"

He cut himself off with a yelp as Itachi swung the door shut and shoved him onto the nearest bed—Deidara's—and climbed on top of him. "You really need to learn when it's a good time to shut up, Deidara."

"I babble when I'm scared. Sorry. It's a habit... I never realize I'm doing it. Hmm. I mean, I'm not really _scared_, I'm just sorta a bit nervous about this since I've never—" His mouth snapped shut when he realized Itachi was glaring at him. "Sorry. Doing it again. I'll stop."

"Finally," Itachi muttered, ignoring the look Deidara gave him. He leaned in close, his hair falling around Deidara's face like a waterfall of Chinese ink, and Deidara flushed. He smelled so damn good; he wondered if Itachi would taste as good as he smelled. The kiss from earlier had been too quick and he'd been freaking out too much to do anything except panic, and now that lust was coming back, nesting in the pit of his stomach and making his body tingle.

"Can I kiss you now, or are you going to start talking about some other unrelated bullshit again?" Itachi's cool breath hit his face, and Deidara shuddered.

He rolled his eyes as he reached his hands up to tangle them in Itachi's black hair. "You can kiss me, bastard," he said, trying to make his voice its usual cocky self even though on the inside, his heart was thumping in nervous excitement at the look of absolute carnal lust in Itachi's dark eyes. Before he could start babbling nervously again he shut his eyes tight and pulled Itachi's head down to his, and this time it didn't take Itachi long to kiss him back. Deidara poked his tongue out again and moaned when Itachi took it into his mouth and sucked gently on it, pushing him down further into the bed. Before long both of their breaths were ragged and they had to pull apart to breathe, during which Itachi leaned back and sat up on Deidara's thighs.

In a blur of movement, he grabbed the kunai from his belt and sliced Deidara's shirt open, throwing it aside and then peeling his over his head just as quickly. Deidara stared wide-eyed at the pale, hard chest and washboard abs, fighting to keep from drooling. His heart was beating so quickly he could feel blood rushing behind his ears, and his entire body tingled in anticipation. He was so busy gawking at Itachi's bare chest that he didn't notice right away that Itachi was running his fingers over the stitching on his chest, fingering it in an almost curious way. When he felt the thread get pulled, his eyes flickered down to his own chest.

"What're you doing?" he asked, his voice breathless and almost frightened. There was a strange look in Itachi's dark eyes, and he didn't really know what to think of it.

"There's another mouth here, right?"

Deidara bristled. "Well... yeah." Itachi smirked, and something curled in Deidara's stomach. "Why?" he asked, feeling his heartbeat accelerate. He bit back a whimper and allowed Itachi to undo the sewing on his chest, wincing slightly as it pulled on his skin. Itachi let the thread fall to the ground and, still with that strange smirk, looked down at the bigger mouth opening on Deidara's chest. Something clicked in the blond's head.

"Oh, that's gross, Itachi."

Itachi's eyes narrowed. "You don't even know what I'm thinking about."

"You're gonna kiss it? It'll like, eat your entire face."

"Hmm," Itachi murmured, ghosting his fingertips across the mouth's opening. He slid in a finger and Deidara slapped a hand to his mouth to muffle a gasp; that felt really weird. He wasn't sure yet if it was a good weird or a bad one, and all he could do was shudder as Itachi added another finger. It felt intrusive and wrong, but it made his entire body tingle with pleasure.

"O-oh, god, I don't think that's a g-good idea..." he moaned, jerking slightly when the tongue lapped at Itachi's fingers. "It's so g-gross... S-stop..."

Itachi had no idea it was such a sensitive place, but from the way Deidara was whimpering one would think he was touching something else. He took his fingers out of the mouth and said, "It's obvious you like it, though. "

"It's weird," Deidara said, making a face. He blushed. "But you're right... it felt... uh, just do it again, I guess..." And so Itachi did, except this time he leaned down and kissed the corner of the mouth, flicking his tongue across it rather than his fingers. Deidara was clearly not expecting that and gasped, a strange mangled moan bubbling out of his mouth as Itachi's tongue dipped inside and awkwardly but very hotly started to kiss the bigger mouth. It was so creepy and bordering on disgusting if you asked Deidara, but he couldn't deny that it felt amazing; better than a normal kiss, good enough to send a multitude waves of pleasure up and down his spine and tingling through his entire body. Who would have thought it was such an erogenous place? Something started to curl unfamiliarly in his stomach and he whimpered, his hips jerking up on their own accord.

Itachi let out the first full-on moan Deidara had heard so far and it was such a sexy sound that he felt himself get even harder and his pants get even tighter. Pushing Deidara into the bed with his hands, Itachi lowered his hips onto the thrashing ones beneath him and grinded into them, a long, hard friction that had them both moaning and panting as he did it over and over again. The feeling of it and the sheer hotness of the younger ninja squirming under him made him feel close to the edge already. Deidara's hands grabbed onto Itachi's forearms and the mouths bit down, but Itachi didn't care; seeing Deidara losing it like this was enough to distract him from the pain. He pulled away from the mouth on his chest to kiss the one on his face.

After a quick kiss he leaned down and nipped uncertainly at the base of Deidara's throat, encouraged when Deidara tipped his head back and moaned, giving him more skin to attack. He ran his hands down Deidara's chest, the smooth skin wet and hot under his fingers, and bit down hard enough to make Deidara jerk and whine in pain, and then moan as he licked the wound in apology. His hands brushed across the hard nipples on his blond's heaving chest which he took between his fingers and pinched lightly. Deidara arched into his touch, his mouth falling open in a long moan and hand mouths biting down into the blankets. Itachi pulled away from Deidara's neck and looked at the mark he'd left with a smirk; that would last for a while, and it gave him a weird sense of satisfaction that everyone would see it and know that Deidara was his.

Deidara sat up suddenly and pushed him onto his back. Surprised, Itachi stared up at him. Deidara was grinning, his blue eyes sparkling. "I'm really not the patient type, you know," he said, his breathing heavy. Itachi smirked; he'd been the one to make him like this.

"Why the sudden change in attitude? One second you're moaning like the little virgin you are-"

"_We_ are."

"—And the next you're pushing me back and telling me this. You're really bipolar," Itachi commented, smirking at the glare Deidara shot him.

"You're taking too long," Deidara said back stubbornly. "If you don't hurry it up," his voice was a weird sing-song, "I'll be the one bending _you_ over, 'Tachi."

"I don't _think_ so," Itachi murmured. "It's not like you weren't enjoying it."

"I was. I just wanna get on with it. We can experiment another time, but right now, I just really want to get on to the main event, hmm." He fingered the button on Itachi's pants, and Itachi swallowed heavily as his fingers brushed over the very painful bulge under the stretched taught black material. He nodded and decided Deidara was right; they'd both been waiting a long time for this, apparently, and he too really wanted to get to the best part. He batted Deidara's fingers aside and quickly undid the button as Deidara grinned and did the same. Pants aside, Deidara pulled him up into another kiss, sort of surprising Itachi by fighting back and not just letting Itachi control the kiss. He liked this sudden change, however, and pushed Deidara back, putting them in their original position.

"Hurry up. No more foreplay," Deidara murmured, his hands slipping underneath Itachi's underwear so quickly Itachi didn't even have time to register it before Deidara was squeezing his aching erection. He shuddered and his arms nearly gave out, but before he could do anything Deidara's hand was gone from where he needed it and was tugging at the waistband of his boxers. He kicked them off and practically tore Deidara's off.

"Hurry—"

"Oh my god, shut up. I'm trying." Itachi's voice was testy and he shot a glare down at Deidara, but the blond just stuck his tongue out and wiggled his hips. Itachi rolled his eyes and looked around. "I need lube," he said, his voice showing the first sign of awkwardness yet.

Deidara shrugged. "Use spit," he suggested, sticking his tongue out again and wiggling his hands. The mouths on them stuck their tongues out too.

Itachi supposed they really didn't have that much of a choice and held out his fingers, sort of awkwardly. Deidara's right hand intertwined with them and wasted no time coating them with saliva, and after listening to Deidara whine at him to make it quick because he was "fuckin' desperate, un" pulled the blond's legs up. Deidara got the idea and wound one around Itachi's waist, propping the other one up on his shoulder, his stomach clenching in nervous excitement. He'd never had anything up there before, but he did know that is should feel amazing— once you got past the pain. Hidan never shut up about it, and Deidara supposed he would be finding out if it was that great after all.

One glance at Itachi and he decided that it _would_ be, since he was giving himself to Itachi. The brunet seemed as nervous as Deidara did, although he was much better at hiding it— the only way Deidara could tell was from the slight tremble in Itachi's hand as he slowly lowered it to the puckered entrance between his cheeks, and the crease between thin black eyebrows. He felt Itachi's slick middle finger prod at it and jerked at the feeling, making Itachi look at him in alarm. Deidara let out a breath and nodded, signalling for Itachi to continue.

"Hurry up," he repeated.

Itachi hesitated, a flush creeping up his cheeks. Deidara couldn't help but smile and huff in amusement as Itachi said in a small voice, "This is my first time doing anything like this, excuse me if I'm a little bit nervous."

"Just do it, Itachi. You'll never know how it is unless you try, and it's my first time too, un. Just do what comes naturally."

"Okay, it's just— I don't want to hurt—"

"We're ninjas," Deidara interrupted, flipping his bangs away from his left eye. "Pain is an occupational hazard." This was so damn weird. Shouldn't Itachi be the one calming_ him_ and telling him everything would be okay? "I wouldn't do this if I wasn't ready for a little pain." While he was talking, he reached down and grabbed Itachi's fingers, leading them closer to his hole as Itachi's cheeks reddened and he swallowed. "Put the first one in," Deidara instructed.

His body tightened as though trying to reject it when Itachi finally came to his senses and did as he was told, making both of them groan. Itachi halted again, looking down at Deidara with a furrowed brow and worried eyes. Deidara exhaled slowly and wiggled a moment, not entirely sure what to think of the intrusive feeling, but he nodded as a signal that he was okay.

"Another one, c'mon," he said breathlessly. He winced when Itachi forced another one in and curled his fingers into the sheets, tears stinging at the corners of his eyes. Okay, that hurt, more than he'd thought it would. He felt Itachi tense up in worry again and forced himself to ignore the pain. If the blurred memory of that night with Sasori and Hidan's constant yabbering meant anything, the pleasure he would feel would be ten times the pain. So he just had to suck it up.

"Move your fingers," he ground out. He moaned in a strange mixture of pleasure-pain when Itachi did, but not before adding the last finger. It was slow and he ignored Deidara's complains to hurry up, because he wanted to make the experience as painless for him as he could, but eventually Deidara's whimpers of pain turned into a strange moaning pant as he started to rock onto his hand, his eyes twisting shut.

"I-Itachi, I'm r-ready, please..."

"Are you sure? You're still—"

Deidara interrupted him with a throaty cry as something inside of him was struck with the blunt end of Itachi's fingers. "Fuck!" His entire body jolted and his fingers curled into the bedsheets.

Itachi pulled his fingers out in alarm. "What?"

"Oh god," Deidara was moaning. "You better hit that spot again." His eyes fluttered open and he scooted closer to Itachi. "Come on, I'm ready. Take me. Please."

Itachi nearly chuckled in amusement— Deidara was like a spoiled little kid asking for candy at the store. He nodded and planted his hands next to Deidara's head, kissing his lips softly before he grabbed himself in one hand and started to push in, not giving himself a moment to hesitate again in fear of hurting Deidara. The blond had made it clear that he didn't care about the pain all that much, and he clearly wanted this now— it would be mean to take long just to calm himself down. He slowly slid into the blistering, tight heat, his head falling down so that his forehead was resting against Deidara's as the blond's face twisted in agonized pleasure.

"Bigger than the fingers," Deidara choked out, his voice a high-pitched whisper.

Itachi stroked his cheek with his thumb and kissed him again, trying to distract Deidara from the pain as he continued to very slowly push in. Deidara whined, his hands moving up to pull at Itachi's hair so hard Itachi felt like his scalp was tearing.

"H-hey," Deidara choked out when he pulled away to catch his breath, trying not to squirm too much as his body got used to the much bigger intrusion. "Go-nngh- faster, you're taking t-too long—"

"Goddamnit, wait," Itachi breathed, clenching his jaw to keep from losing control and pounding Deidara into the sheets before he was ready. The heat around him was so tight that he thought his head would explode from the sheer feeling of it, but he continued to slide in, stars blooming behind his eyelids. Deidara made a sound of pained pleasure and his hands curled in the sheets under them, his chest heaving. His dick twitched and Itachi was sure that if he had one less sliver of self restraint he would have started drooling everywhere. "I don't want to hurt you _too_ bad," he said breathlessly.

"It's l-like a band-aid— Do it f-fast or it h-hurts—"

"I don't think that's entirely true..."

"I don't care, just do it-nghh, please, I n-need—" He cut himself off with a cry as Itachi quickly shoved in the last few inches. "S-see? I'm fine," Deidara panted after a few seconds, even though it was clear to Itachi that it hurt, a lot. He tried to imagine what it would feel like, but he was too distracted by the inferno squeezing him so perfectly. Deidara clampepd his eyes shut, his face screwing up in pain and shakily said, "Start moving."

"But... you're still in pain..."

"I-I'm fine, I just need you to _move_, 'cause if you don't, I'm gonna go limp."

Itachi was still taking deep breaths, trying not to lose his self-control. "How can you be so... mouthy even... at a time like this?" Hell, even Itachi could barely string two words together. Deidara let out a little laugh, and gave Itachi a sideways smirk, his eyes opening. They looked into Itachi's, and the Uchiha swallowed; he'd never seen such a heated, desperate, sluttish look in his entire life, and damn in that didn't almost make him come right then and there.

"Mouthy? I do have four, hmm." His voice was very amused and strained. "That could be why." Itachi looked down at him, his hold on himself slipping and his mood becoming slightly irritated. Didn't this guy _ever_ shut up? Oblivious, and still smirking, Deidara went on, "And I'm gonna use all three of 'em to bite your dick off if you don't start moving already, I swear to—Oh fuck!" He threw his head back and shot a hand to his mouth to muffle a scream as Itachi snapped and started pounding into him, so hard the bed that was bolted to the floor made creaking sounds. The pain faded away almost instantly and pleasure shot through his body, making his brain turn to mush and his mouth scream profanities without him even realizing it.

Once Itachi finally got past the 'holy fuck, this is _tight_' stage, he licked his lips and stared down at Deidara, who was already a moaning mess of lust and sex on the sheets. His blond hair was spilled all around him, contrasting starkly with the black sheets and his tanned, wet skin. One mouthed hand was covering the agape, drooling mouth on Deidara's face, not doing anything to muffle the loud sounds coming from it. He felt strong legs tighten around his waist, and when Deidara yelled, "Harder, you damned weasel!" he decided that this was not acceptable; Deidara wasn't allowed to be this coherent.

He took Deidara's hand and shoved it away from his mouth, capturing the blond's wet lips in a hard, passionate kiss, and at the same time doubled the force of his thrusts. If Deidara had been loud earlier, he was thunderous now; a raw scream ripped from his throat, swallowed by Itachi, as that spot inside of him was struck. Each of his nerves burst into flames and he squirmed on the bed to try to escape the almost unbearable pleasure that exploded in him every time Itachi hit that spot. Itachi couldn't contain a small moan as Deidara tightened even more, enough so that tears sprung in Itachi's black eyes, and slid his tongue into Deidara's mouth. Nearly sobbing, Deidara wrapped his arms around the brunet's neck and grabbed handfuls of thick black hair, making the kiss harder and all that more sexy.

"Hahhh... 'Tachi, mmso close," Deidara panted against Itachi's mouth, his stomach tightening as something inside him curled into a tightly wound mass of heat. Itachi nodded his agreement and sped up, making Deidara fall back onto the bed and shudder. He was obviously too shaky and weak to keep himself leaned up to continue the kiss, and Itachi felt about the same; his arms were trembling as he drew nearer his end and Deidara tightened until it was almost unbearable, and he knew he was only still going by sheer will. Deidara lifted one quaking, sweat-covered arm and placed him palm at Itachi's teeth-gritting mouth, looking up at him with nearly-black pupil consumed eyes, his eyelids fluttering, and for a second Itachi was confused. Well, it wasn't his fault that Deidara was so damn sexy and tight that he could barely remember his own name right now. After a moment, the palm-mouth poked its tongue out and licked the seam of Itachi's lips. Itachi's breath hitched and he looked down at Deidara, but the blond's face was screwing up in such intense ecstasy that he was no help to anything but making Itachi a lot harder and a lot closer to his climax.

He opened his mouth and pressed it to the palm-mouth, attacking it much like he had the mouth on Deidara's face earlier. He didn't know how something so weird could be so hot, but kissed it with all he had nonetheless, and Deidara's moans turned into something closer to screams, his voice hoarse and raw. Itachi groaned at the sound and wanted to hear more; never leaving the palm-mouth's lips, he took one of his hands off of Deidara's hips and brought it between them to grab the base of the blond's twitching cock firmly. That was all it took for Deidara to let out a scream so loud Itachi was sure his throat tore, his body starting to spasm as his fingers and toes curled and rope after thick rope of seed exploded into Itachi's hand. His walls tightened more than ever before, and Itachi let out a choked cry as his body got thrown into orgasm without any warning. It hit him like a speeding truck and his hips jerked forward uncontrollably as Deidara grabbed his hair and kissed him, harder than any other kiss they'd shared, both of them moaning into each other's mouths, riding out their orgasms together.

When it was over, the both lay there panting for a few moments, never parting their lips. Itachi wiped his hand on the sheets and pulled out of Deidara, who sighed in sleepy satisfaction, rolling them over. Deidara curled into his chest, still kissing him softly.

"I love you," Deidara whispered against Itachi's lips, tears of joy staining his cheeks as he fought to hold onto consciousness. "I don't know why I ever hated you..." His eyes fluttered shut, and all Itachi could do before he blacked out from the sheer power of his climax was whisper back,

"I love you more."

xxXXxxXXxx

"Why's it so quiet in here?"

Kisame turned to glare at Tobi, who was bouncing on the balls of his feet, looking around the Akatsuki base like he actually expected to find an answer lying on the floor somewhere. The masked man squeaked and started to loudly claim he was a good boy, but Kisame interrupted him with a sigh.

"Will you shut it?"

"Sorry, Kisame-san, I just—"

"Just hush," Kisame growled, straining his ears. He couldn't hear anything; Tobi was right, it was dead quiet in here. He smirked and wordlessly walked away from Tobi and towards the rooms. Tobi ran after him once he realized Kisame was ditching him, and said, "Where ya going?"

"I'm going to check on Itachi, see if Deidara... took care of him." He chuckled.

"Took care of him?" Tobi repeated obliviously. "Does Deidara know medical ninjutsu?"

"Oh, Tobi," Kisame laughed darkly. "You're so blind it's sad." He stopped in front of Itachi and Deidara's door, which was hanging partially open. His grin widened as he peeked inside and caught a glimpse of two bodies curled up together on a bed, passed out. Mentally, he squealed in joy, but since he was Kisame, and Kisame was badass, he just kept quiet except for a snicker, shut the door and smirked back at Tobi, who still looked confused.

"What? I don't get it. Is Itachi-san okay? What did Deidara do?"

Kisame shrugged, baring his teeth in that sadistic grin of his. "Look if you want."

Tobi approached the door hesitantly. "Is it... okay in there?" He seemed to have picked up on the fact that he was missing something. His voice trembled. "There's no blood, is there? Oh, no. Is Itachi-san dead? Did Deidara kill him? I always knew he was going to lose it and just cut his head off one day. Why are you smiling like that? I don't get it! What happened?"

"Deidara just gave Itachi something he's needed for a long time," Kisame said casually. "Listen, you can look or you can walk away. I'm not telling you what went on, so if you're that curious, it's up to you." With that, he walked away, laughing like a maniac in his head. He heard Tobi titter, and then slowed down to listen as he heard Tobi push the door open...

"Oh, they're sleeping, awww. You had me worried, Kisame, I thought they killed each other or someth—Wait... what the..." Tobi gasped then, slamming the door loud and screaming, "AAAH! MY EYES! THEY BUUUUUURN!"

Kisame leaned against the wall, grinning as he watched the scene unfold. Tobi was screeching, running around in circles and holding his head like he expected it to fall off at any moment. There was a squawk and a thump from inside the room, presumably Deidara falling off the bed, and a sudden spout of colourful curses and Itachi's grumbling.

"TOBI, YOU WOKE ME UP AND TOTALLY RUINED THE MOMENT ME AN' ITACHI HAD GOING ON HERE, AND YOU BETTER FUCKING BE RUNNING, 'CAUSE WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU—Ow!"

Itachi's tired, muffled snicker. "Can't walk?"

"SHUT UP, YOU WEASEL!" Deidara shouted. "I CAN WALK FINE!"

"AAAAHHH! MYYYYYYY EEEYYYYYEESSS!" Tobi was still screaming.

"SHUT UP!" Deidara yelled.

"OOOOOOOOOOO! THE PAAAAIINN!"

"Ugh, great, I have a headache again..."

"I THINK I'M GONNA GO GOUGE MY EYES OUT WITH A RUSTY KNIFE AND POUR IN HOTSAUCE SO I CAN GET RID OF THIS SCARRING IMAGE! AAHHHH! NAKED SENPAI! NAKED ITACHI-SAN!" Tobi sobbed, now swaying back and forth like he was about to faint. "Tobi is a good boy. Tobi is a good boy... what did Tobi do to deserve seeing this?"

"GODDAMNIT!" The door flew open, revealing a very angry, dishevelled Deidara. His blond hair practically crackling in fury, waves of almost homicidal rage visibly roiling off of him, he growled, "Can't I get a moment of peace after I finish having the best sex I'll ever have in my entire life? A moment of sleep after finally being able to be calm and fucking happy enough to sleep without getting interrupted by freaky dreams or some shit like that?" he ranted, not seeming to remember he was still bare naked for everyone to see. "No, of course not, 'cause I live with a bunch of FUCKING IDIOTS!" Tobi had stopped screaming by now and was inching away, fearing for his life. Kisame watched it all, barely able to repress snickers.

"Deidara, just calm down," he heard Itachi say, but Deidara made a roaring sound.

"OH HELL NO! I WAS SLEEPING! MY ASS HURTS! WE WERE CUDDLING! IT WAS CUTE! I just wanna _lay_ there but no, Tobi you had to go and ruin it!"

"Why did I have to fall for this dumbass?" Itachi muttered, but Deidara was too busy advancing on a terrified Tobi to hear. Kisame was kind of scared too and backed away a bit, prepared to run the hell outta there should Deidara suddenly turn on him.

"Tobi?" he spoke up, waving to get the masked man's attention.

"W-what?"

"You know... If I was you, I'd run."

Tobi 'eep'ed and turned on his heel, booking it down the hall, flailing his arms as he continued to wail. Deidara hissed like some sort of demonic being—Kisame half expected him to start spitting venom—and tore after him, tiny little bomb butterflies popping out of his hands and chasing his partner. They disappeared from sight, and Kisame peeked into Itachi's room.

"How's it, partner?"

"This headache is going to be permanent now," Itachi said glumly.

"Hey, I don't think it's so bad. At least now your sexual frustration won't be so permanent."

Itachi stared flatly at him. "Shut up, Kisame."

"Alright," Kisame said, chuckling. "Want a Tylenol?"

"Wet cloth," Itachi muttered, crawling under the soiled blankets. "Ugh, Deidara is so annoying. My head is pounding." Just then, a loud BOOM and Deidara's sadistic cackle rang through the base, followed by Tobi's screaming.

Itachi groaned, and yelled, "Keep it down!"

"'TACHI, I DON'T NEED YOUR BASTARD ATTITUDE!" Deidara yelled back, and Itachi sighed, face planting into the pillow.

Kisame grinned again as he turned to get Itachi what he asked for. Another explosion went off somewhere in the base, and Deidara's whoop of glee, Tobi's cries, and Itachi's irritated cursing and swearing made his grin widen. He shook his head.

Well... obviously, some things would never change.

**xxXXxxXXxx**

**KissMeDeadlyT-T: LOL THIS SUCKED SO BAD. There is no need to tell me that the ending was a fail. In fact, I know it sucked so badly that every time I look at it I make this weird D: face and cringe. I just couldn't think of a better one since my other one got deleted... TTT_TTT Another thing I want to complain about: OMG, the foreplay, it was SO FUCKING HARD to write and I know it sucked but I tried to make up for the suckiness of it in the buttsmex part. Sorry guys... *cries***

**I swear I'm not usually this bad at writing. I just cannot write smut lately! I don't know what's wrong with me! Maybe in the future I'll come and edit this. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to improve this chapter and how to overcome this huge writer's block? Help would be appreciated :/**

**Please review, and thanks for reading (: Hope y'all liked it and had as much fun reading as I did writing. :) Don't be mean about this last chapter o' shit, okay? :3**


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